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Ultimate Guide to Sex Chat Online
Which sites to use:
Let's throw it back to when Omegle was at it's most popular. I was a senior in, and I went over to a friend's house for a Super Bowl party. I was admittedly not as interested in the game as most of the other attendees, thankfully the other teenagers at the party shared my sentiments.
Instead of taking up valuable couch space while staring at our phones, we retreated upstairs. One of the kids had a laptop, and another made a suggestion: "Let's go on Omegle!".
From there my whole world exploded because I was finally introduced to stranger chat sites. If you've never been on one of these sites like Omegle, the concept is simple: talk to strangers! That's their tagline: Talk to strangers.
And that's what you do. You get matched with a stranger, and you chat. You can match with people who are completely random, or you can input your interests! You can also chat with video (on both unmoderated and adult sections) and chat with other college students (you have to do this by entering a collegiate email).
I suggest inputting some interests like "sex", "sexting", "cybersex", or "fuck". These keywords will allow you to get matched with someone who is clearly looking for a stranger to chat with! Additionally, you can add your sexuality - I'd go for keywords like "gay" "straight" and "bi" - or any kinks you might have! Some popular kinks on the site are "BDSM," "S&M," and "Feet." Make sure to stick to the most straightforward keywords possible. This will guarantee that you'll get matched with someone quickly! If all of your interests are too specific, you probably will end up matched with a random. At the very least mark your interests as something to do with sex or sexting.
When it comes to kicking off the chat, you'll need to make sure that you get all the pleasantries out of the way. I usually start with a message I copy and paste into the chat box and immediately press send. This helps you get your ASL out of the way and what you're looking for. I suggest formatting your message something like this: Age, sexuality, gender identity, location, what you are looking for in a few words. Here's an example:
"Hi, I'm a 25-year-old straight female from the United States, I'm looking for someone who's into feet to sext with. What about you? ASL?"
This helps you sort through all the strangers you're going to get matched with until you find someone who you're compatible with!
When it comes to using the webcam feature I usually like to have the camera pointed at the lower half of my face (think nose down) or my chest at first. This gives the other person a decent idea of what I look like, but I don't have to reveal my whole self at first. Make sure that when you're flipping through the cams not to get overzealous with the next button! The last thing you want to do is skip someone really hot!
Also, make sure that once you find someone, you click with that you exchange some sort of contact information with them. I'm not suggesting you give them your number, but I am suggesting that you give them an instant message username of some sort so if you're disconnected, you can keep in touch!
IF you do get disconnected from someone try to match the same set of interests you started with! Or you can come up with a common interest that's so oddly specific that if you get disconnected you two will be the only people who will match with that keyword!
If you're a more visual person, then you might want to consider using the webcam feature on Omegle, or you can opt for IMVU. This site is going to probably cost you a little bit of money (only around $20-$30) to get the full experience.
IMVU has been around forever. The site is a 3D chat app that you can use both on your browser, your phone, and with a program. I recommend downloading the program to get the full experience. IMVU is a site that can be used for essentially all ages, but there are some seriously sexy options for those who are over the age of 18.
If you choose to upgrade to AP - which I highly recommend doing - you'll have access to some of the hottest 3D avatar porn ever… but you're the one making it! Let me explain:
AP is short of access pass. AP gives you access to all the adult content on the site. This means digital boobs, ass, pussy, and dick. Plus, you'll gain access to a whole different side of the site. This side of the site is full of 3D chat rooms that also function as strip clubs, escort services, swinging rooms, and even dungeons (for all you fans of 50 shades out there).
In order to get the access pass you must go through an age verification process (which only costs under $6) after that you can purchase the access pass with 20,000 credits (this is their in-game currency! 20,000 credits is around $20 in real life). After you get all this sorted out, you can run wild on this exclusive side of the site.
To meet people to chat with you should start by going into rooms and striking up conversations with people. Go into rooms that are meant for something sexy! There are plenty of rooms for singles and casual fun as well as any fetish you can possibly think of.
These AP only rooms usually have sexually explicit poses and will draw the kind of people you'll want to meet in this digital universe. You should also spend some time (and credits) in the store and get yourself some sexy clothing. You should probably start with nudity (so you can have some realistic anatomy for your avatar when things get steamy) and move toward lingerie and other sexy additions like tattoos and piercings next.
Feel free to get freaky wherever you can! I would make sure that public sexting is okay if you're in a public room though! The last thing you want to do is piss off a moderator of a room (a lot of the moderators are really boot-happy). If you don't have any sexy poses in your room ask to go to theirs! And if they don't have any, find an abandoned public room with a lot of fun stuff in it and get freaky there!
You don't have to find a deep dark corner of the internet to find someone to sext with! You can easily find someone to talk to on dating apps or websites. I recommend going for apps that definitely have more of a casual vibe to them. I wouldn't sign up for Christian Mingle and expect to find someone who ISN'T waiting until marriage (well, then again Christians are usually pretty sexually repressed… so they might be down for some sexting action).
I would aim for sites like Tinder when it comes to finding someone to sext with. These people are usually not looking for a relationship but are looking for a hookup. This might also extend to their digital desires; maybe you find someone who looks great online, but you have no desire to meet up, then you should start a conversation on tinder and move it to the likes of Kik or GroupMe.
People on dating apps may actually be looking to date though. I know, they can't all be winners. But you should still give it a try. The goal is to have some fun on your laptop or on your various handheld devices! You should exhaust all opportunities to find cuties who are looking to get dirty in the DMs.
All about catfish
The internet is full of Catfish. If you don't believe me, think about how MTV made an entire TV show about it (shout out to Nev and Max). Unless you've been completely fucked over by life or jaded by being on the internet for too long, you may be tempted to believe still that people are fundamentally good… don't.
People are selfish and manipulative. Whether it be for money, a need for attention or another selfish gain people catfish other people. I'm not sure why (because I'm not a total psychopath that derives pleasure from watching the suffering of others), but they do it. Catfish are real and - like actual catfish - there are a million of them.
When you're doing something that's a little less than innocent - like sexting with strangers on the internet - there will be more Catfish than normal. If you are a guy on a dating app, there will be more catfish coming after you than girls… especially if you're attractive or obviously have a reasonable amount of money.
In short, be aware of catfish.
Say it with me: Beware. Catfish.
The signs to look for
Honestly, if you don't know how to identify a catfish, you really should watch a few seasons of the MTV show and then go on the internet. But I'll humor you and give you a crash course because no one should be on the internet without knowing how to tell a real person from a catfish.
One of the more important pieces of advice I can give you is to trust your gut. Don't trust your heart or your dick. Trust your gut. If you think there could be a chance that someone is totally bullshitting you, then get the fuck out of there. Don't second guess yourself.
But the biggest way to tell if a person is a catfish is if they're weird about showing their face, sending pictures, or proving they are who they say they are. Sure, someone might not want to do that for a privacy issue or because they don't want to ruin the fantasy, but if you get to a stage where they won't prove who they are then they're probably a liar.
If they won't video chat with you, talk on the phone, or promise to meet up only to flake then they're probably a catfish. And if they're sketchy about when they contact you, then they're either a catfish or a cheater.
How to ditch the fish
You have to go cold turkey. I am convinced there is no other way. The biggest reason why I don't think that you should ever give a catfish more than a second chance is that they're master manipulators. They've already got you hooked; they probably can come up with a seemingly valid excuse to string you along forever.
Here's what I recommend you do when you find yourself into a catfish: give them an ultimatum and give them another half of a chance to prove themselves or tell them off and delete their number. Block that bitch. A catfish will keep coming back to keep you catfished. You have to cut them off. Tell one of your friends about the fish and have them keep you accountable for not talking with them. Just do it. It might be hard, but you'll thank yourself in the long run.
Sexting/Cybering Do's and Don'ts
Do: Be descriptive
Now let's get down to some sexting basics. Sexting, cybering, whatever you want to call it. It's all the same thing. But when it comes to chatting all you've got is your words. Sure you can send them a link on Omegle, or a picture on a dating app, or do something sexy with your avatar on IMVU… but sexting is all about your words. Sex + text. That's the formula.
Being descriptive is especially important when you don't have photos or if you don't feel comfortable with it. If you're on Omegle you can be on webcam, but if you're going for the thrill of chatting with someone completely anonymous you're going to have to make sure you're the Shakespeare of sexting.
Read some erotica to brush up on what you should be saying to your online boo. Words are sexy. Why do you think 50 Shades got so popular? Why do you think there are a million trashy romance novels at every single bookstore? Because while titties are great, so are some expertly strung together words.
Don't: Respond too slow
This is not the 1800's. You are not writing to your lover who is away on business or at war or whatever. You do not have to wait six weeks for a letter to get to you. This is the 21st century. This is the age of instant gratification. So why are you holding out on your sexting partner?
I know just as well as everyone else how difficult it is to type with one hand - especially when you've got a rhythm going - but someone is waiting on your response. Yes, sexting is about you. But sexting is just as much about the other person in your rated-R chatroom. Don't let a screen blind you to that.
Do: Send pics (if you want)
I know, I know… I'm contradicting myself a little bit. All you have in any sex chat scenario is not limited to words; it's limited to the internet. You don't have only to use your words to get someone off, but it certainly does help to master your sexting before you throw in other components.
When it comes to sending pics, you should be careful. You never know who's on the other side of that screen. While your intentions might be pure, theirs might not be. So, if you do decide to send nudes of yourself do yourself a favor and leave your face out of them. You should only send face pics once you're sure the person you're talking to isn't evil and is also not a catfish.
That being said you don't have to send pictures of yourself to send pictures. No, I'm not advocating for you to be the catfish, I'm merely suggesting you send them a porn gif or a link to a sexy picture. Tell them how you want to do whatever sex act is being performed in that picture to them. Use the internet's infinite library of porn to your advantage!
Don't: Ruin the fantasy
Honestly, half the time I don't ask to see what the person looks like who I'm talking to. Whether I am on text chat on Omegle or on IMVU, I usually will not ask. Why? Because I've created a fantasy for myself and I don't want to be let down. I don't want to find out the person I've been sexting with looks like a bridge troll. I just want to keep my fantasy of them alive in my head and enjoy their sexy texts on my computer screen. I suggest you do the same.